Baby By Christmas (The McIntyre Men Book 5) Page 8

  “So what am I supposed to do, Allie? You want me to walk away like my parents did? To desert my own child and just assume that life will work out for him? I can’t do that. I won’t. I know better.”

  His eyes were fiercely determined, and Allie ached for the little boy he’d been. “You know better…because it didn’t work out for you. Did it, Logan?”

  “No. And my kid isn’t going to have to figure it out on his own like I did. I’m gonna be here for him.”

  “Or her.”

  “Or her,” he said. “People make it work, Allie. We could make it work. If we got married, you could come with me. We could raise our baby together and figure it out as we go.”

  “That’s not a real solution and you know it. I have a life here. My family is here, my work. And you don’t want to marry me, not really. It’s for the baby, and that’s sweet and noble and all that, but it’s not enough for me. It’s not enough to keep us together if things get tough, and then we’d be right back here trying to figure out what to do all over again. Only this time, our child’s heart would be breaking along with our marriage.”

  “I’m not going to leave my child,” Logan said. His voice was sharp, the words, clipped.

  Allie sighed. “You won’t have a choice. In two weeks, you’re gone.”

  “For three months. But I’ll come back. And when I do, I’m going to want to see my baby.”

  The kitchen timer beeped and broke the intense conversation.

  Allie sighed. “It doesn’t look like we’re going to solve this tonight.” She turned to stop the timer. “Can we just keep this between us for now? Just until we’ve figured out how this is going to work?”

  He stared at her. She put a hand on her belly and gazed into his eyes. “Please, Logan. Please keep this secret for me.”

  Logan held her gaze for a long moment, and she saw his will collapse. “Okay. Okay, fine.”

  She could see the exhaustion on his face. She knew this was taking a toll on him. Maybe if he had grown up differently, he’d be able to see things her way, but Logan Edwards wasn’t anyone else. It would take a lot to convince him that this was the right thing to do. But she’d do it. She’d bring him around for her baby.

  She grabbed an oven mitt and pulled the hot cookie tray from the oven.

  “I’ll give you time, Allie. But I’m not changing my mind.”

  “Time’s all I asked for, Logan. And I’m not changing mine, either.”

  * * *

  Logan had retreated to his room after the conversation with Allie, but he couldn’t stop thinking about everything she’d said. Maybe she was right. It couldn't be easy for a kid to constantly have to say goodbye to a parent.

  Even if they did split time, who would stay with the baby while he was at work? Daycare was fine during the day, but he couldn't very well send his kid back to Allie every time he was in the field or had to pull an overnight duty.

  It would be difficult, but it wasn’t enough of a reason to keep him from acknowledging his flesh and blood, either.

  The house had grown quiet. Eerily quiet, considering there were two small children and an annoyed pregnant woman downstairs.

  He was hungry, and the smell of chocolate chip cookies filled the air. He didn't have the answers he needed, but he knew he wasn’t going to get any closer to finding them alone in his room.

  He opened the door and walked down the short hallway and down the stairs. Frosty the Snowman was playing on the television. Allie sat on the couch with Jack snuggled beside her. They were both sound asleep.

  Logan glanced at the other side of the couch where Cassie had been tucked in earlier. Her blanket lay discarded on the floor, but the little girl was nowhere in sight. Panic rising, he scanned the room. The door was still shut tight. She couldn't have got outside, could she?

  Then there was a crack and then a sloshing sound, followed by Cassie’s giggles. He followed the sound to the kitchen. The room was mostly cast in shadow, but the refrigerator door was open and the glow from within provided enough light for him to see Cassie sitting on the kitchen floor.

  Logan couldn’t say exactly how long she’d been awake. He only spent an hour in his room and Allie’s oven timer had beeped for the last time twenty minutes ago. But the mess around the child looked like it had taken hours to create.

  A dozen eggs were broken in a circle around her. The pantry doors stood open and the bottom third of the shelves had been emptied. Flour, sugar and boxed pasta were dumped around the kitchen. Tiny footprints marked the floor from there to Cassie’s current location in front of the fridge. A gallon of milk lay on its side. Most of the bottle was spilled on the floor, but a tiny bit had landed in the plastic cup that Cassie held in front of her. She had a cookie in each hand and was dunking them carefully into her glass.

  She looked up at Logan with big blue eyes and a toothy smile. Her blond curls were caked with egg and flour. “Cookie,” she said.

  The little girl looked so pleased with herself that Logan couldn't help but laugh. Cassie held one of the cookies out to him, trying to get upright at the same time. “Cookie,” she said again. And then she slipped on an egg yolk. He reached for her, but missed, and she plopped face first into the flour and sugar pile in front of her.

  Her outraged screech split his eardrums.

  Logan scooped her up and she quieted, turning a happy grin in his direction. It was almost enough to make him forget about the dripping egg and milk that was soaking through his shirt where he cradled the little girl. Her tiny hand still clutched the cookie, although now it was covered in egg yolk and flour. She tried with all her might to shove it into his mouth. He twisted his face from one side to the other, but the little girl didn’t give up. And the cookie smashed into his face four times before it finally crumbled and fell in pieces to the floor.

  “What am I going to do with you?” he asked, giving the girl a contemplative look. The obvious solution was a bath, but he’d never given a baby a bath, and he felt weird bathing someone else’s kid. He was contemplating his options when Allie hurried into the kitchen and stopped dead in her tracks, staring from the mess in front of her to the little girl in Logan’s arms.

  “I nodded off for a minute. What happened?”

  Cassie looked at Allie and smiled. “Cookie,” she said waving the remaining piece of cookie in the air like a trophy.

  Allie looked heartbroken, which was an overreaction, in Logan’s opinion. “Angie will be home any minute.”

  “Good. She can help clean up the mess her adorable little sweetheart created.”

  “You don’t understand. This is the first time she’s left the kids with me since Jeff…. It’s the first time she’s left Cassie with me at all. She’ll never trust me with them again.”

  Logan glanced at the destruction in the kitchen and thought that might not be such a bad thing, but he had the good sense to keep his opinion to himself. He didn't know why it was so important to Allie, but it obviously was.

  “Okay, you take care of her,” he said shoving the batter-covered child into Allie’s arms. “I’ll do something with this.” He gestured towards the disaster area that had been a kitchen a short time ago.

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “No time to argue. Just trust me. It’ll all be okay.”

  Allie looked reluctant, but she nodded and hurried down the hall to the first-floor bathroom. Logan spent the next thirty minutes scrubbing every washable surface in the kitchen. He was just dumping the last bucket of water down the sink when Angie and Beth walked through the front door.

  The strain and tension that had weighed down Angie’s face had eased a little, and Logan wondered if the day out had done her some good.

  “What happened here?” she asked as she walked toward the kitchen. She took in the empty bucket, the mop, the sponges and cleaning supplies and then she narrowed her eyes suspiciously at Logan.

  He shrugged. “Just thought I’d help clean up a little since Allie was
busy with the kids.”

  “Uh-huh. And where are my children and my darling sister?”

  Allie came out of the bathroom right on cue. She held the freshly bathed little girl in her arms.

  “I thought I heard you,” Allie said. “Did you two have fun?”

  “It was very productive,” her mother said. “I think Christmas is going to be a good one for the kids this year. I hope we weren’t gone too long, dear. You look tired.”

  “Not at all.” Allie turned to her sister. “It’s good for you to get out once in a while, Angie.” Allie kissed Cassie’s forehead and handed the little girl back to her mother. “Jack’s sleeping on the couch.”

  “How were my little monkeys?” Angie asked, rubbing noses with Cassie, who giggled.

  “They were angels,” Allie said in a very convincing tone. Logan would have been convinced, too, if he hadn’t spent the last thirty minutes cleaning up after Hurricane Cassie.

  “Really?” There was doubt in her voice.

  “Of course,” Allie said.

  “Then why is your houseguest covered in flour and chocolate?” All eyes turned to Logan. He glanced down at his jeans, which were still caked in egg. Puffs of flour clung to his shirt and he was pretty sure his face was still streaked with chocolate from the cookie Cassie had force-fed him.

  “Cookie,” Cassie said.

  “I’m a messy baker.” Logan rubbed a chocolate streak from his chin, with his thumb.

  “Angels, huh?” Angie asked, raising an eyebrow in her sister’s direction.

  “Complete angels,” Allie replied. “Aren’t they always?”

  * * *

  Chapter Seven

  * * *

  4 Days before Christmas

  Allie woke up sore and exhausted. She had collapsed after the children left the night before. Her back hurt from bending over the tub and washing her niece. Muscles in every part of her body ached, and she could only imagine how much worse it would have been if she’d had to crawl around on her hands and knees cleaning up the mess Cassie had made in the kitchen. It was hard to admit, but Logan had been a huge help.

  That should have made her happy, but it didn't. As a matter of fact, it made her even more annoyed.

  Yesterday had been a test. Not just of her babysitting skills, but of her ability to handle a child of her own. As much as Allie insisted that she was prepared to be a single mother, the truth was she had no idea if she was up for the challenge. Yesterday had been a trial run and she’d failed miserably.

  She threw her legs over the side of the bed and heaved herself into a standing position. Her feet hurt immediately. She tried to look down at her swollen toes, but couldn't see past her belly.

  She had one job to do: convince Logan that she could raise a child on her own and didn't need his help. Yesterday had proven the exact opposite.

  She stomped over to her dresser and pulled out one of the few remaining outfits that fit around her ever-growing form. She needed to put herself in a better mood. After all, there were only four days until Christmas and she wasn’t about to waste them being angry and hiding in her room.

  Only four days until Christmas. They needed a tree!

  She took a shower and threw on her stretchy maternity pants and an oversized sweater, spent a few minutes on her hair and makeup and told herself it wasn’t because of Logan. Not that it really mattered what her face looked like. She didn’t think she was likely to attract any man right now, and that was fine by her.

  It was still early, but sunlight was peeking in the windows by the time Allie crept into the kitchen.

  She grabbed her keys off the hook by the door and pulled her coat from the closet. She was just slipping it over her arms when she heard footsteps on the stairs.

  “Sneaking out?” Logan asked. His voice was as warm and rich as the chocolate chip cookies she’d baked the night before.

  “I’m not sneaking. This is my house, and I’m an adult. I come and go as I please.”

  He held up both hands. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry.”

  She narrowed her eyes on him and tried to give him the same withering stare she’d seen her mother use so many times throughout her childhood. “You’re here. You’re here and you’re ruining my Christmas spirit. I’m trying to be jolly, dammit.”

  Logan smiled. Part of her wanted to slap the smile off his face and another part of her got all excited when he flashed that ridiculous dimple.

  “Well, in the spirit of Christmas, I think we should make peace. We need to be able to talk to each other civilly if we’re ever going to get through this.”

  She shrugged. “I can be civil.”

  “I was hoping my charm would win you over,” he said with a grin.

  “Without the benefit of alcohol and the threat of a bar fight, you probably wouldn’t have seemed that charming in the first place,” she lied.

  He shrugged. “Then it’s a shame you can’t drink, because with alcohol, I’m a regular Sir Lancelot.”

  Allie smiled a little. She was okay with making peace, but she still wanted to get out of the house as soon as possible. A little alone time before the family descended.

  “So since we’re now acquaintances who can speak politely, can I ask where you’re going?”

  “It’s Christmas tree day,” she said. “Or it will be, as soon as I text the family and tell them it is. And before we can load up and head over to Holiday Ranch, I have to pick up pastries from Sunny’s Place.” And maybe linger over coffee and a donut and some solitude.

  “You need snacks to put up a Christmas tree?”

  “No. You need snacks to keep the kids entertained and the grown-ups warm while we walk around in search of the perfect tree. Usually it’d be done by now, but we wanted to wait for Adam to come home. It’s kind of a family tradition.”

  Logan didn’t look like he was understanding, but Allie didn’t have time to explain. She turned to grab her shoes.

  “Wait. I have questions.”

  She turned back to face him and saw the wonder in his eyes. It was almost endearing.

  “Shoot,” she said, perching on a stool to pull the shoes onto her feet.

  “First, I’m wondering about the tree. Isn’t that a lot of work considering it will only be up for a few days?”

  “It’s not work. It’s fun! And it wouldn’t be Christmas without a tree. Mmm, especially a real tree, so you can smell the pine. There’s something about searching the lot and finding the right tree. It’s different every year, but always seems perfect.”

  “And the whole family goes?”

  “Yeah. We usually go the day after Thanksgiving, but like I said, we waited for Adam.” She saw the look on his face, and without being told, she knew that he’d never experienced anything like what she described. “Haven’t you ever had a real Christmas tree before?”

  “A couple of the foster homes I was in had fake trees, but I spent most of my time at group homes and Christmas was like any other day.” He didn't say it with sadness in his voice. It was matter-of-fact, which made Allie feel even worse. She tried to imagine what it would be like to have no family. No happy memories. No childhood holidays to look back on.

  Allie couldn’t imagine growing up like that. She’d believed in Santa Claus far longer than most of the kids her age. Christmas had always been full of magic for her. She couldn’t imagine it any other way.

  “Then you have to come with us.”

  Logan’s eyes widened. “I do?”

  “You do. And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  “I don't know. It’s a family thing. Shouldn’t it just be family?”

  You are family, something inside her said. Maybe it was the baby’s voice. She didn’t say it aloud. “The more, the merrier. Besides, we’re going to be getting three trees. We need all the strong backs we can get.”

  Logan smiled and Allie tried to ignore the slight swell of her heart. “Any more questions?”

  �
�Tons.”

  Allie rolled her eyes. “Then you better grab some shoes. You can ask me on the way to Sunny’s.”

  He glanced toward the den. “Should we wake Adam?”

  “Not for the pre-game,” she said. “I’ll text him at kickoff.”

  * * *

  They’d lingered over breakfast together at the Big Falls diner, and Allie made calls and sent texts, and set everything up. Then they walked along Main Street, where every lamppost bore a wreath, and every shop window was decked for the holiday. They headed to the only place with a pink and white striped awning, instead of a green and white striped awning, Sunny’s Place, where they picked up dozens of cookies and pastries. Sunny had filled their two-gallon Thermos jug with hot cocoa, too.

  And later, with the family all behind them, ready for action, they drove beneath an arching HOLIDAY RANCH sign, and parked beside the smaller of two barns.

  Allie’s parents pulled in right behind them in David’s shiny red pickup truck. And Angie and her brood brought up the rear in her SUV.

  Adam had ridden with David and Beth. He was quiet and looked as if he was still suffering the effects of the booze he’d had the night before.

  “It doesn’t look like they’re open,” Logan said, looking at the all-but-deserted place. There were no trees in sight and he wondered if Allie had come to the wrong address.

  “Just trust me,” Allie said, pulling into a parking spot and opening the car door. It was still early and there weren’t any other cars around, although Logan did see ample room for parking beside the small barn.

  They had barely taken a step when a pretty strawberry blonde stepped out of the little barn pulling her jacket around her shoulders and greeting Allie with a hug. “I see you’re still pregnant,” she asked with a smile.

  “Yeah, yeah rub it in,” Allie replied, then to Logan, “She had hers a month ago.”

  “Three and a half weeks,” she corrected.

  “It’s a helluva story. Remind me to tell you later.”

  “Glad to be the source of amusement,” Kiley said.